During your note-reading, please note that I'm posting this note not for being riya', nor to expose that tomorrow is my birthday.
Not really. There's something more important that I want to share: a hope of bringing a betterment!
For me, growing old is not at all a pride. There are many 'amanah's that we are expected to overcome, and what's more, those amanahs are growing larger day by day.
And I don't know whether I have been that capable, or appropriate enough to be labeled as 'mature'. Twenty one! what do you expect? many things. Soooooooooo many.
Well, to cut the long story, cz I'm afraid that this post is going to be as long as my previous post, I'll write out my birthday wishes. Maybe you'll find that some of my wishes are quite weird yet funny. But, no one can forbid me to dream :D
O Lord, the Almighty, may You grant these wishes:
1. I want to get an A for my every subjects. FOUR-O!
2. I want to pass the AMINEF scholarship, and got the one-year-study in the US!
3. to run the Blink Wallchart on time, no delay for publishing. Wish that the articles and appearances will be stunning.
4. I want to have that courage again - a courage to do the private teaching. Well, I found out that it was not easy to be a private teacher.
5. to get that spirit again - yea, the spirit I held strongly when I was a teen, a spirit to seize Your ridho. I admit that there has been some degradation in me.
6. I want to be prettier. INDEED, as I am a narssistic person, I do anything to make myself look good! (including spending IDR 100k to buy a geeky glasses)
7. I want to be Diana Rikasari, Sonia Eryka, Sabila Anata, Tiananda.... NO! I have my own style! I'm original and not copying anyone! I dress for me, not for fashion-critics. I want to explore my OWN style, with all the limited outfits I have, without worrying about what people (especially my colleague at sharels) will judge about the way I dress.
and I will be glad if people appreciate my fashion sense. I am who I am, I am what I wear!
8. As I felt that my passion for fashion starts to grow, indeed I want to have many new fashion items that I've never had before. A pair of high-waisted hareem pants. a brown belt. pink tutu skirt. a leather blouse with animal prints, fringes, studs, and chains on it. a studded ankle boots. jumpsuits. boleros. balloon cardigan with union jack prints on it. vintage golden necklaces and brooches. all colors of paris headcovers. animal print scarf. geeky sunglasses. headband. wooden bracelet. a stiletto with 12-cm heels. harajuku backpack with stunning ornaments. many kinds of my handmade statement necklace! doc martens. furry hat. many kinds of cute and colorful bracelets (I love to wear more than 3 bracelets on my hand!). stripes rainbow socks. black legging. many kinds of cardy. an average bag for me wandered around town. a colorful toycam. Nokia X5. more big veils and dresses for saturday (my teaching time!)
9. I want to keep my room always tidy. I want to take out some of the furnitures. the electone which was used to be my pal, I wanna put it outside my room, so that everyone can use it. also, the lower bed. I don't really need it. Who else living in my room? no one! it's only me living in that 3x4 room. I want a new curtain, the pink one! I also one to have that desk lamp! I want to apply a wallpaper!
10. Wish that I could get my special room for scrapbooking. so that the craps will not mess up my narrow bedroom.
11. I want to be recovered from my lung disease. the very disease that requires my wardrobe to be put outside my room.
12. I wish that I can deal with my colleagues. Well, as I'm working in a boarding school, I often found out that their ideology is kinda extreme. not the same as what I hold, and I disagree with lots of points and norms that they believe.
Often, my students feel that the rules are too extreme and I also feel the same!
13. I want to continue my organization experience to the student executive board. Learning from my previous experiences, being less professional on handling events, I wanna try, learn, and deal with bigger challenges by being a committee of student executive board.
14. Lord, I know You are dissapointed with this. And it happens to many people. I don't want to skip any prayer no more. It's a big shame for a 21-year-old girl skipping prayers!
15. and, I don't want to be a procrastinator - just like NOW! hey dude, I'm right now doing my critical reading final project and I suddenly thinking of posting this. I'm distracted by FB. Jack#$%^&*!@+!!
Well, FYI, this assignment was given a month ago and we had plenty of time for doing it. but I don't know why do I prefer to finish it when it is almost the deadline. Is it because today is my critical reading lecturer's birthday???
Oh oh oh. if it is, I would like to write to the utmost, and give my final project as her BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
But the most important of all, I wish, I want, and I will be very thankful TO BE GIVEN A LIFE tomorrow, to have a chance of experience Your blesses, the life of being 21 years old. Money can't buy a chance to get one more day to live for.
Lord, the Almighty. You are the creator of every single thing in this planet, this atmosphere, this galaxy, EVERYTHING in this universe. You have the authority cz everything belongs to you. Only You can decide what my everything will be, you can suddenly change my feeling towards something, and many other surprises in life await for me - under Your authority. You have the things that I wish for, Lord. Show me the path to reach Your bless. Amin.
We have grown up. Some have a new life n forget the past. But for some, the past is the future. And today will decide it. Time flows so fast... We are in the middle of it. (Wulandari, 2011)
Malang, May 2nd, 2011.
08:30 pm.
2 hours and 30 minutes left to the number 21.
(Happy Birthday to my critical reading lecturer, Bu Siti Muniroh, who was born on May 2nd, 1977)
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