Sunday, November 8, 2015

A bite of rainbow cake for the whole life

Hi dear. I don't know who drove me to write this. Sesuatu yang mungkin sudah sangat dingin. Tapi mungkin habis gini akan dihangatkan lagi. Karena desember sudah menjelang....

Ah, aku selalu suka hujan di bulan Desember.
*kemudian nyanyi lagunya efek rumah kaca*




Desember tahun lalu, saat aku masih bekerja di sebuah pondok pesantren di selatan kota Malang, aku ditantang mas Gading Aulia dan Mbak Ziadatul untuk mengikuti acara Bhinneka Camp yang diadakan oleh Encompass Indonesia. Aku mikir. Apa masih waktunya ya, aku yang udah lulus gini, dan mulai fokus membangun karir yang bagus, mengikuti acara yang berwarna mahasiswa seperti ini. Mas Gading bilang, udah, daftar aja. Umurnya masih cukup kan?

Iya sih. Waktu itu umurku 24. dan batas umurnya adalah 25. Akhirnya aku bikin essay yang entah benang merahnya apa, entah main ideasnya apa, entah thesis statementnya apa.

Dan surprisingly I was shortlisted. Ya, aku terpilih menjadi peserta program itu. Sebuah workshop multikultural yang mempertemukan aku dengan saudara-saudara baru dari seluruh nusantara. For the details of the event, my friends told them better. Here they are: Monik,  Putri, Sri,  and Masduri.

yeah, this event was a year ago. Eforianya udah selesai tapi aku gak mau kebersamaan kita berakhir jadi grup LINE yang selalu bunyi ting tong ting tong.

Dan di acara itu aku bener-bener untuk pertama kalinya ngerasain sensasinya punya sodara baru dari daerah lain, dengan point of view lain, dengan tempaan yang berbeda hingga terbentuklah mindset yang beda pula. Dari situ aku merasa,

"Duh, semoga tidak terlambat. temen2 lain udah pada yang banyak ikutan acara tingkat nasional yang mempersaudarakan se-Indonesia seperti ini sejak masih sangat muda. Aku baru memulainya setelah lulus kuliah. Semoga kedepannya aku akan mendapatkan banyak kesempatan berada di forum seperti ini"

Yes, dear. Aku merasa butuh forum seperti ini lagi. I need to open my eyes wider to enable me seeing from different perspective. Feeling you, feeling him, feeling them all. Just like biting a piece of rainbow cake and munch it. Memberi secuil energi baru buat aku nerusin hidup.






Hingga akhirnya hidupku berlanjut. Resign dari pesantren, pindah ke sekolah internasional di tengah perumahan elit deket rumah. Ombak yang mengguncangku di sekolah itu semakin menguatkan motivasiku untuk lanjut S2 dan menjadi seorang dosen. Dengan segala upaya untuk terus berkembang ditengah materi pelajaran SD yang sederhana, aku memutuskan untuk mengikuti berbagai seminar dan conference. Merely because my dream is to be a Linguistics Lecturer, tapi juga berdiri di ELT terutama EYL. Kayak beberapa dosenku yang berdiri di dua kaki gitu.

Yang pertama, jadi participant di NELTAL conference dimana aku mendapat banyak sekali inspirasi judul penelitian yang bisa kulakukan sembari aku mengajar. Alhamdulillah bisa mengenal researcher-researcher dari kota lain. Masih lokal jawa timur sih, tapi kan, bagus dong dapet insight.

Kemudian aku mencoba mengirim abstrak ke konferensi NCOLLT (national conference on language and language teaching) di surabaya dan ternyata aku diterima, jadilah aku presentasi disitu dan aku berkenalan dengan researcher dari sidoarjo. Ya masih lokal sih.......

Pertengahan oktober lalu aku memberanikan diri mengirim abstrak ke ELTLT conference yang diadakan UNNES, semarang. Aku yang gak pede dengan penelitianku yang membahas kualitas terjemahan lagunya JKT48 itu bertemu dengan banyak researcher dari seluruh Indonesia yang penelitiannya jauh lebih keren! I felt amazed and pathetic at the same time....
ada yang dari Bangka Belitung, Jogja, Jakarta, Semarang, bahkan Filipina.
ya iya sih international conference.

Entah mengapa, there's an indescribable excitement ketika bertemu dengan saudara baru di Tanah Air. Dan aku gak mau menyia-nyiakan kesempatan itu.
Aku ngeliat dosen-dosenku yang sering sekali pergi ke berbagai daerah di Indonesia untuk menjalankan berbagai program peningkatan mutu guru, dan berpikir, "What a tremendous responsibility, mungkinkah suatu hari nanti aku dapat amanah itu? Apa aku bisa?" dan aku harus bisa memahami suatu daerah di Indonesia ini, dengan cara berteman dan berbagi bersama teman-teman se Indonesia.

Kupikir kalau cuma teman-teman Bhinneka camp masih kurang.....

Ah, habis gini Desember. Deadline pengumpulan abstrak untuk TEFLIN conference, konferensi pengajar Bahasa Inggris paling tinggi se-Indonesia. Sudah berapa ratus temanku presentasi disana dan aku ingin bisa juga. Walau aku belum secanggih itu dalam membuat paper. Tapi aku berharap bisa memulai langkah yang lebih mantap dalam jagad per-research-an #halah

Semoga bisa tembus TEFLIN. terus kenalan sama researcher dari berbagai daerah dan lalu sharing2 soal ELT di daerah masing.

Iya itu asyik. Dan bismillah aku akan mengusahakannya.

tapi ada satu lagi momen mengharukan yang menggugah.

Dimana kita bener-bener ditempa nasionalisme nya, bisa jadi lebih dahsyat dari pas aku di Bhinneka Camp dulu.

Bener-bener ditempa mentalnya untuk jadi pembaharu Indonesia. Menuju cita-cita Indonesia untuk menjadi generasi emas di tahun 2045 nanti. Masih lama emang, tapi perjuangannya harus dari sekarang.

Acara-acara yang lebih menempa dan menampar.

Acara yang selama ini dokumentasinya aku tonton di Youtube dikala sumpek sama kerjaan.
dan bahkan sukses bikin aku mbrabak dan nafas berat di ruang guru.

yang bikin aku download lagunya almarhum Chrisye yang judulnya "Negeriku"

dan makin mbrabak ketika denger lagu Tanah Airku.
(iya aku semester kemarin pernah ngajarkan lagu ini ke muridku pas gantiin guru musik ga masuk. dan beneran aku berkaca kaca dan ngluyur sebentar ke pojok kelas buat nuntasin nangis sebentar)

Video-video yang belakangan ini rajin kutonton itu adalah.....

Dokumentasi kegiatan PK LPDP =')

apalagi pas ada part dimana para awardee malam-malam dibacain renungan yang berapi-api sampe pada nangis semua, walaupun bapak-bapak calon doktor ikutan nangis juga. Terus nyium bendera merah putih satu-satu. Misalnya pas itu aku lagi nggak di ruang guru mungkin aku udah ga bisa nahan nangis =')

And yes I'm thinking of my friends and lecturers who are awarded that scholarship: Bu Yusnita, Mas supenk, mbak jijonk, matapink, mbak palguna, juragan irul, mazhi, halim, dan..... Oneesanku :')


Iya, aku merindukan saat nasionalisme ditempa hebat seperti di forum-forum yang itu.
Semoga segera tiba saatku untuk bertemu dengan saudara baru dari seluruh Indonesia, menempa nasionalisme bersama, membuat sumbangsih untuk bangsa. sekarang, esok dan selamanya.......

di sana.

Segigit rainbow cake untuk mengubah ritme darah kita. Dalam memandang Indonesia. Dan menyikapi segala yang terjadi di dalamnya.

udah ah, aku mau bikin RPP dulu..... biar sekolahku bisa jadi batu loncatan yang sangat kuat buat aku menuju impianku :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Been thinking about this.

Dear readers - mm well, I do not know if I have any diligent active readers.

I've been administering this blog since 2009, and yeah - rereading my old posts makes me feel like AAAARGH I'm gonna tear my face and stomp on it. They are definitely shameful anyway. There were some posts where I humiliate my Tata Boga lecturers explicitly and yes I was that obvious on mentioning their names.... *scared* what if one day someone scrolled my blog and found those shameful old posts which are explicitly mentioning my lecturers' names? It violates the netiquette, huh? well, I had no choice but to edit those posts. I don't want to be sued due to those posts.

Dear, I don't know why....... who encouraged me to do this.I became actively blogging when I had my junior years at college. I spent my time browsing fashion blogs and yeah they inspired me a lot. I directly concluded that updating blogs in English and is done frequently is always a good idea. At first I thought that it will make us look cool, but as an English Department student I found out that it trains my writing skill.

I've been really moody on blogging. As you can see, there are many date - even months - gaps on my posts. I won't post if I don't want to..... or, is it because I need more effort to write everything here because I decide to write everything in ENGLISH? merely because I'm an English Department student?

Who commands me to do so? No one.
There is no regulation or requirement that I have to post everything in English.
In fact, there are times when I feel easier to express in English, and other times where I feel that Indonesian is better.
I don't want to post something if I feel hard to express it in English.






Lha terus kalo emang enak an pake bahasa Indonesia ngapain juga nginggris-nginggris.
Latihan writing tuh ga cuma ngeblog doang Nji.
Tuh soal IELTS pelajarin dah.....
Katanya mau nembak LPDP?!

(Di satu sisi, Pascasarjana UM udah manggil kenceng banget, seperti poninya pak koorprodi yang melambai ditiup angin..... tapi di sisi lain Oneesanku berangkat ke Monash lewat LPDP..... and yes I want to trace her steps!!!)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

A good preparation for my next degree: BALLADS OF A RESEARCHER!!!

Hi dear! long time no post =) many stories were skipped and I believe that it's kinda weird if you see the stories have gaps like this.
Mm well, as a prelude, lemme tell you this. Working in a bilingual school really drives me obsessed to continue my study to a higher degree: Master's.

Many of my friends directly enrolled to Pascasarjana UM right after earning a B.A..... and yes, funded by their parents. (yes, because Pascasarjana UM is not listed in almost all scholarship in this nation) I know my parents are unable to fund me for pursuing my M.A., for it takes 8 million rupiahs in a semester. At the same time my lil bro, who is tracing my step in UM and majors Geography, has to pay 5,5 million rupiahs per semester for his tuition fee. Simply, my parents cannot afford another millions rupiahs for my master's degree. At first I felt okay with that and I just let it go, then I focused on building a good career.

Not long after I graduated, I worked in an Islamic boarding school and I had an ordinary day with my teaching activities. When I had my spare time, I browsed my facebook timeline and I was shocked by some photos. No, not disturbing pictures of children of Palestine, but the pictures of my friends attending TEFLIN conference, being a presenter. Along with my lecturers which were chosen to be the plenary speakers. I was astonished. My knees thrilled. My heart beat fast and I didn't realize that tears were floating on my eyes, then finally it fell down on my cheek.  I want to have my knowledge advanced! There are a lot of things that I want to know more about ELT. And I don't know how could the buds of dreams finally grew inside me. I, who used to put "I WANT TO PURSUE MY M.A. OVERSEAS" words in my working table, screams out loud: "Dear my lecturers, I want to go back to your embraces. What I've learned last year was far from enough. I want to know more. more and more. I still need to learn more". Well, although I know that I don't need to be a Pascasarjana student to present my paper in TEFLIN, I only need a vast knowledge and an ability to conduct a research. And it indeed needs a very tough preparation. I need a help for that.

Long story short, Pascasarjana became my main priority since I have known what to do when learning there. as well as I know that my lecturers are such a golden helpful hand.

This ambition went uncontrollable and I made it into a status that shows my desperation. Then a helpful, angel-hearted senior named Mbak Ratih left her comment, saying "Be patient dear.... this is a good time to make a very good preparation and enrich yourself. Reread your college textbooks, conduct a research and keep a good contact with your lecturers. keep on believing that you will pursue a higher education, as high as what you want". I was touched and - again, I shed tears. I said, "Mbak Ratih, I envy you for your enjoin in TEFLIN as a presenter. I want to be there too!". And yes, she helped me a lot on giving me a general overview what conferences are. She told me that - yes, I can write a good research to be presented in a conference. I realized that conducting a research is one of the best ways for enriching myself by reading a lot of references.

I need a lot of time to figure out how to start conducting a research. well, I'm doing a research all by myself, without being guided by a lecturer. Therefore, I have to do everything by myself.
I decided to enroll myself as a participant in a local conference held by my department. FYI my undergraduate thesis advisor is the head of the committee =) #HailYudiSensei #HuwalaHumba #tekterektektekbumbumdasssss #UeKaraYudiSensei

Yes, I was only a participant. I was not that brave to be a presenter since I was still a novice.
From that conference, I learned A LOT. I got many inspiration for research topics and I started to figure out. I listed a lot of research ideas and I learned how to conduct it by reading a lot of books, looking for model papers and started to read the situation in my school, searching for a chance to conduct a research. Ah yeah, EYL and English as a Medium of Instruction,

Until finally I joined a facebook group named Teacher Voices: Professional Development and I got enlightened by the discussions held there. Many conferences info were posted and I found one local conference named NCOLLT (National Conference on Language and Language Teaching) held in Surabaya and yeah, the registration fee is quite cheap. the  topics are still quite doable for a beginner like me. I didn't need a long time to finally decide to send my abstract. My topic was about EYL, it deals with how I utilize Rage Comics to make students easier to write a recount text. Well.... I was quite brave. I didn't take Research methods in ELT class back then when I pursued my B.A..... and I conducted a linguistic research for my undergraduate thesis. I dared myself to conduct an ELT research. I was confused, and yes - my paper really shows that I am a newbie need to be improved. Thank God the presentation went well.



my very first time presenting a paper in a conference.

Not long after this conference, I sent another abstract to a bigger conference: ELTLT (English Language Teaching, Literature, and Translation) Conference held in Semarang. I am questioning whether I really can go to Semarang, meanwhile I live in Malang. But I dared to do so, I said, "I can save some money for it! why not?"

I made up my mind and finally send an abstract...... about JKT48's translation quality.
WHATTT???? JKT48 FOR A SCIENTIFIC PAPER IN AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE?
Are you kidding, Nji?

I did it. I interviewed 100 JKT48 fans about this issue. Translation quality of JKT48's lyrics. Actually this research is better be done by a Japanese Department student, since JKT48's songs are translated from japanese.

In short, I was a little bit not confident when presenting it since the others are presenting serious topics, and I be like.... What the hell is JKT48? This is a formal forum!
Thank God I received a good feedback in the end of the presentation.


Bringing JKT48 in an international conference

Well, being a researcher means determining what specialization we are going to take when we are having a career as a lecturer. yes, my dream is to be a lecturer not an elementary school teacher like this. Until this very time I type this post, I still haven't decided what specialization am I going to take.

Linguistics in general, since I love almost all my linguistic courses?
EYL, since I love drawing and I teach in primary school?
Translation, since I am a freelance translator?

I have to consult a senior or a lecturer about this! oh gosh --" specialization will be also asked when I later apply for a scholarship for my M.A. degree.

I'm still searching, therefore I'll never stop learning.

NEXT TARGET: TEFLIN 2016!!!! Yeahhh!